Good morning, students! It’s so nice to see you all in your places with bright, shining faces. I’ve decorated my classroom with beautiful spring flowers just for you!
All right, shall we–
Excuse me, you there in the back row. Disrespect for grammar will not be tolerated. Careful, dearie, or I’ll send you out in the hallway to write 1,000 times:
Now . . . where was I?
Ah, yes. Today, class, we will review several commonly confused word pairs. Do you have your pencils ready? Let’s begin with a quiz.
Please read the following sentences and circle the correct word in each pair.
1. Myra should heed my advice/advise and serve more chocolate.
2. The hero in Myra’s current work-in-progress lives on a ranch with a slew/slue of cattle.
3. I shall pen my thank-you note on rose-scented stationary/stationery.
4. A special spot has been reserved on the mantle/mantel for family portraits.
5. Myra wrote less/fewer words this week than she had hoped.
6. Project Guy keeps track of various projects on his ingenuous/ingenious spreadsheets.
7. When submitting your manuscript, you may need to appraise/apprise your editor of several additional book title suggestions.
8. Myra is all ready/already planning her trip to the next ACFW conference.
9. Most riveting suspense novels include an odious/odorous villain.
10. Seasonal/seasonable winter weather is bearable, but really, must spring be so long in coming this year?
11. Taking a leisurely walk can be very restive/restful.
12. The predicted spring storm may impact/affect your travel plans.
13. A comprehensive grammar reference book would be a helpful complement/compliment to your library.
14. Grammar Queen may be counted upon to provide exceptionable/exceptional lessons in grammar and usage.
Bonus question:
A student’s just desserts/deserts for failing this test will include expulsion from the dessert/desert buffet at once.
Is everyone finished? You may now exchange papers for grading.
Oops. I suppose exchanging papers might be rather difficult in our cyber-classroom. I have no choice but to trust your complete honesty as you check your own work. For each correct answer in the first 14 questions, give yourself 8 points. If you answer the bonus question correctly, you may add 25 points to your final score.
1. Advice is correct in the first sentence because it is a noun. We advise Myra, or we offer her advice. And we know Myra is always open to good advice.
2. Slew, meaning a great many, is correct. To slue is to swing around, which is certainly a possibility when negotiating fresh cow patties.
3. Stationery, the correct answer here, is what you write on. Stationary describes a state of immobility. I prefer to be stationary while writing on my stationery.
4. The correct answer here is mantel, which is the stone or wood structure over a fireplace. Mantle is a loose garment like a cloak.
5. Fewer is used when referring to countable things, such as Myra’s words (poor dear). Use less when discussing mass nouns or amounts.
6. Certainly Project Guy is truly of ingenuous (honorable, candid) character, but his spreadsheet system qualifies as ingenious (clever and original), which is the correct choice.
7. Appraise is to put a value on something. Apprise is the correct response, meaning to inform.
8. My, my, isn’t our Myra on the ball, already (correct answer) planning for the conference! By September, no doubt she will at last be all ready.
9. Do you smell a rat? Oh, no! It’s the odious (correct answer, meaning hateful) villain! However, I suppose it’s possible he could be detectable by smell (odorous).
10. This sentence is a bit tricky, and frankly, we might make a case for either word, so give yourself an automatic 8 points either way. Seasonal relates to one of the four seasons, so cold in winter would not be unusual. However, seasonable means “in a timely fashion,” and we are certainly distressed that spring has been so long in arriving this year.
11. Most of us do find a pleasant walk to be restful, the correct word here. On the other hand, some of us have become restive (impatient, agitated) after this ridiculously long winter.
12. Alas, how many times has the word impact been used when the speaker or writer actually meant affect? Here’s another word for you: solecism. It means a speech blunder or something that deviates from what is proper. The use of impact as a verb has become more and more accepted over the years, but many consider this improper usage. Give yourself 8 points if you chose affect, 4 points if you selected impact as the correct word.
13. As this quiz comes to an end, do you find yourself in need of more grammar review? Then, yes, do select a helpful reference to complement (add to or make complete) your library. If you do so, GQ will be delighted to compliment (praise) you on your good judgment.
14. Exceptional: uncommon, superior, outstanding, extraordinary. Need I say more? Unless, of course, you find Grammar Queen’s lectures exceptionable (offensive or objectionable)–and if you do, I would kindly ask you to keep your opinions to yourself.
And now for the answer to the bonus question. How many of you circled the double-s form of the word in both cases?
Really? That many? Oh, you think you’re so clever, don’t you?
My dears, the phrase is and has been for untold centuries just deserts. Think of desert as a form of the word deserve. To receive your just deserts is to get exactly what you deserve.
Which, if you missed this question, is NOT dessert!
So, class, have you learned anything new today? Did any of the correct answers take you by surprise? Don’t be embarrassed if you didn’t perform as well as you’d hoped. The true test of a dedicated grammar student is whether or not you move past this unfortunate moment, learn from your mistakes, and sin no more.
Post your questions and comments below, or feel free to send them to me personally using this comment form.
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